As requested I have filled out your, "Questionnaire". I have done this in a rather creative format. I kind of wish I was reading it to you, as when I read it aloud I feel its a lot more entertaining. But I'll let your imagination run wild with my words. I hope you enjoy.
I feel your are going to be incredibly disappointed in our answers here. I’d love to tell you amazing stories featuring long journeys of love and endearment. But, mine and Samms quest for happiness doth not make for enjoyable entertainment. So I’ll deliver our story in the most extravagant way possible. It's not made up but I’ll most defiantly embellish to create a greater atmosphere and sense of wonder.
So lets begin.
Tell me how you first met? who what when where why?
How did we first meet? Excellent question, squire. In the old days of social networking, there once, was a website called “My Space”. All the kids were on it I assure you. Including our protagonist ( Ashley ) and his fair maiden ( Samm )!
We had relatively bland profiles, to mingle in. It was by no means a dating site but many a young couples met on here. So, on a not so warm evening, the 6th of october. Ash, quite randomly appeared as a suggested friend on Samms profile. Knowing how god damn hot Ash was back in 2008 ( before Just Eat hit the scene and ruined my gorgeous figure ) Of course she couldn’t resist and sent her message.
This opened a way of communication between us. It was not long before Ash managed to woo his new “Pen-Pal” into a spontaneous but romantic evening at the light festival in Brierley Hill! She had not done her hair or applied fresh makeup. Her anti-rape buddy Adele came along to make sure I was who I said I was. Prince charming of course, I brought along my best buddy at the time. Just incase a fight broke out and she tried to steal my wallet!
She turned up clearly not dressed or made up for a date occasion so we kept it light. Samm still believes I bullied her into coming out before she could address the issue of not being at her best. But I stand my ground as she chisels away!
We arrived, watched the fireworks and enjoyed a fun friendly night. There was no romance but we definitely felt a spark, maybe something to do with the fireworks!
Where was your first date?
We had carried on text messaging to get to know each other a little more between seeing each other on that night and our first real date. We agreed to watch the film “Quarantine”. Obviously an excellent choice, certainly not the type of film Ash wanted to see, not whilst trying to impress his new maiden. As Ash is well known for being incredibly scared of scary films!
Shockingly I made it through the entire film. At one point our hands met and we interlocked. Nothing major, although I'm sure her heart was racing as much as mine. But who knows if I was just holding back a waterfall of emotions and sheer anxiety as the film circled its way down a deep whole of gore, disease, jump scares and death!
Tell me about the proposal, (did you see it coming, how long was it in the planning, how did you feel, nervous, excited, freaking out?)
Our courting continued for the next 7 years. Always fighting off the barrage of questions from close couples and friends that were settling down.
“When are you going to get married”.....“Why haven’t you proposed?.....Yadda Yadda Yadda!
Here's the fun part - Our proposal was something very different, it did not involve fancy restaurants, music or an audience of any kind. Unless you the count the guy that probably hid a camera in our hotel room, ii mean … Who wouldn’t?
August Bank Holiday weekend. Shacked up in a small travel lodge room in the middle of Birmingham, we were slowly digesting our chinese we had just eaten. A banquet fit for a king, or in this case. Prince charming and his fair maiden!
I can’t quite remember the show we were watching but it involved a married couple. This happened to bring up a conversation , rather awkwardly Samm asked in her thick, black country accent.
“Are we ever going to get married Ash?”
Shit, quite on the spot here! I had all intentions of asking her at some point but im definitely not the guy to rely on too… Get things done! Samm even finishes most of her own orgasms!
We had been together for seven years, i certainly couldn’t think of any reason i wouldn’t want too and honestly, it was quite a relief knowing she wanted to!
“I guess its a given, we’ve been together so long!”
“Cool, so can I start organising things?”
I told you our proposal was different, and… dull!
Our feelings? Samm - Excited, knowing she was going to have the big day and could spend the next two years organising a wedding.
Ash - Wondering how much overtime he’s going to need to do to make sure his Wife-To-Be gets the day she wants and deserves.
Why did you choose Redhouse Barn as the venue for your wedding?
Redhouse Barn has a beautiful atmosphere and character that matched our ideas on an excellent wedding. We had looked at other venues and did fall slightly in love with a beautiful little place down in Gloucester but we realised it was way to far away. Once we saw Redhouse we instantly fell in love with it and almost agreed on the spot this is where we wanted to spend our day, a day that would start the rest of our lives together. A beautiful spot in the country to start our sentence!
Besides the ceremony, what is the one thing that you are looking forward to the most on your wedding day?
Party, beer, hot girls in dresses!
How have you find the wedding planning? Do you have any tips for other brides?
I’ll have to hand this over to Samm.
Stressful when you’re doing it on your own! But if Ash did have his way, the wedding would;
Not be on the right day,
Not involve nearly half of the guests,
Would include bring your own food and drinks
Would have a gaming room for xbox and Pcs in a room,
Would include donkeys to ride and Lamas to pet.
Involve the wedding party in the planning stages a lot more. Give them jobs to do in the run up to the wedding, as well as jobs to do on the day. They are employees of the bride and groom in the run up to the wedding, USE THEM!
Were there any hidden things or expenses you just didn’t consider before planning your day?
Registrar fees! Who knew registrars had built an economy of their own around the love of couples!!!! The food, as beautiful as it is, definitely caught us by surprise when we was the costing!
Bonus question - As I'm a photographer, what advice can you give about choosing your wedding photographer?
Look at your friends wedding photos, the style, the type and the quality. Pick exactly what you want. The day is bloody expensive, you need to have the best possible memories locked into still images you can look at and remember forever.